Young people having porn addiction.

Hey!

I am anonymous recovering sexholic. I was growing up with strong selfcritic. People close to me told me that I was too thin and I started thinking I was ugly. I also did not have much encouragement from parents and felt unaccepted. When I was about 10 years old one friend showed pornography video at his home even when I told him I did not want to see it. After some time I started watching videos with attractive women than I entered my first pornsite and thought I would watch there only porn images. Than I crossed another boundry and started with my porn addiction on videos and acting out. That feeling which it brought me was enourmos and filled me for a short time with excitement and pleasure. While I was acting out I could have easily forgot on pain I experienced in the world and made my inner critical voice silent. Although porn addiction and masturbation seemed as a good solution to my troubles and stress it did not work longterm. After some time one hour a week of watching porn and acting out was not enough. Than one hour a day was not enough. Than later I could have spent 8 hours or more in one day on lust. It was stealing my time. It was also stealing my concentration in school. On lessons I was comming back in my thoughts to porn videos I had seen and was not paying proper attention. I could have had much better marks. It was also stealing my family life. When I was at home I could avoid any converstation, lock myself on toilet with pornvideos and isolate from everybody. I was thinking I can escape in this addiction from my deppresive thoughts how big looser I was. But the truth was that after some short time of pleasure this deppresive thoughts that I was zero and horrible person became stronger and stronger. I hated my life. I was raised up as a christian so I tried to find solution in catholic church and confessions. It helped me and I found big support from priests and people from one christian fellowship. However somehow I came again and again in my addiction. I tried to do lots of service and volunteer work but it did not cure me from lust addiction, the result was that I burned out. Than I tried to study much about overcoming pornography on websites as FightTheNewDrug or YourBrainOnPorn – it was helpful, but having more knowladge did not heal me either. Finally after I became adult and was still desperate to find solution, I found through suggestions of friends and one book program of Sexholic Anonymous. I saw there people who where very long sober and stoped with their porn addiction. I desired what they had and started to following their suggestions. I am now 22 and through this program I found God who is bigger than my addiction and from his grace I am today more than 1 year. There is hope also for you no matter how young or old you are.

Anonymous

Please email newcastlesagroup@gmail.com if you need help